My Unlucky Penny

I made a mistake last night. I drank too much at an emotional. I was feeling good, and then something set me off. I think it was the brownies. Or the drink. Or the eyes. Or the knowledge.

I'm so sad this day. I feel like I'm being left on a burning boat and all my insides want to do is crumple and fall.

I know everything and yet I can't let go, or I don't know how. I was so happy. Because I know what a wonderful person he is it makes it all the harder.

I don't tell anyone save for three people. I don't want anyone judging him or me. The last thing we need is people who don't understand cutting in.

I found a lucky penny on the ground, heads up. I wonder why I believe in that stuff. I feel like I'm losing my shine, and smile. I know that's what he likes is my smile. Its hard to see that right now. The air is cold as it coils around me, but I danced all the way to his place last night. I needed the fresh air. I needed the stars above me and I was happy to be back and loved by those around me.

I am happy to be in this beautiful place. I miss that beautiful person.\

I'm Keeping the Penny. Maybe that sort of luck takes time.


I live in a hostel, on the top bunk, above a Dutch guy, JD and with Dee and BB. BB knows things, we're sort of close in that buddy way. He can be immature but gives good hugs when I need them. He recovers easier from things, but that's how it is. I'll add more as time goes on.

Updates to come as we go.