Swamped

Jack and I visited S again. It helped I think, but they were both in a bad state. Even me. We perked each other a little, and ended up napping in front of the fire. 

I can hear his heart race every time he gets panicked, the breathing picking up into short, useless breaths.

How are we going to make it two months? Both of us have school work to do and Jack gets upset every time I mention extending anything. We're going to the store tomorrow to pick him up a bag like mine, so he can come along. Hopefully all works out. 

We're both going to end up a wreck. I think I might reach out to Brandon soon. I know he's busy getting the adoption ready for Ash and set up to take care of Eli, but I'm so mentally swamped and I don't know who else to go to. 

Shaking -- Oliver

He's still sick. Christ, I've really never seen him this bad.

He tried to go to the clinic yesterday to work. When I sent him out the door, he was looking betterish. There was colour in his face. He was pale yesterday. But he looked well. So I sent him out the door.

I was an hour getting ready with my own stuff; work, shower, study, and clean up. As I'm cleaning the window, I see Jack standing down at the bus stop. I ran down and got him. Turns out he was to scared to get on the bus. Back in the house he was trembling. I tried to ask him if he wanted to talk to Cody or Brandon or Lola but he wanted nothing to do with them.

Today we went to see S. She went for a walk and Jack was close to normal with her. Its like in the old days, when it was just the five of us and the occasional monster. S asked if I was okay too. She's good to pick those things up. It's hard to take care of someone, even Jack, when they're so mentally off.

Plus Allie is gone. I don't know how Jack did it. I mean he was stronger when Lola was gone than he is now.
I don't know.
I think we might both be going over with her. Jack needs to get out in the worst way, and so do I.
We had a nap at her place today, or I did at least. The nights are rough and I'm exhausted.

Besides. - Oliver McMaster

Jack had an anxiety attack last night. A bad one. I'd never seen him this bad in all the time that I've known him. He was pressed into the corner swatting at monsters coming to get him. For a moment I thought it was a violent vision, but no, he was just beside himself.

It took me too long to realize it. Jack perpetually smells of fear, and has a habit of dropping things. So when I heard the cup fall, I just assumed he'd spilled his drink again. The fear came once as a wave. It wasn't until I heard the huffing from his room that I was aware of a problem.Cody said he's had that problem before, where he'd be listening to music and nearly missed Jack's fit.

Walking in his room, I find a grown man jammed in the corners, in his pajamas, hand sliced open. His horrified eyes bore into me. "Fix it!" he hissed over and over. Normally, I would have called Cody, but the sight of the blood and the absolute terror in his eyes pushed the thought aside. I grabbed the towel from the bathroom and held his hands, pulling a shard out. Wrapped, I kept him in place, telling him over and over that everything would be okay. Over and over and over I said it, with every 'Fix it" he demanded of me. His breathing was shaky, and I could hear his heart hammering like a double kick. It took two hours to calm him down, though whether it was from my help, or sheer exhaustion I wasn't sure. He descended into sobs, huge gulping sobs.

The sobs faded. I got him to the bathroom, cleaned his hands, got him his mouth guard and had him drink a glass of water. He flumped into bed, clutching the pillow against him. I asked him if he wanted company for the night. He just nodded, starring off into space.  I fell asleep on the floor beside his bed, but it wasn't consistent  Two hours later he was awake again, almost at the same state as when I found him. Another hour to calm him down. It happened twice more, and so I mentioned the hospital at 3 am.

That was a mistake. It sent him nearly over the edge. I had to hold him down to keep him from crawling out of the window, and we're on the seventh floor. By they time he'd settled again it was eight, the sun was up.

He's sitting across from me, and I've just called the school to tell them he'll be missing it. I'm calling Cody when I'm done this. Jack asked me to stay with him today, so I'm forgoing class. He doesn't even want to touch his drum kit, or talk to Lola. I'm really worried about him.

Jack is a little over half a foot taller than me, long and lanky.

I'd never seen him so utterly overwhelmed by his troubles before.

I will keep you posted.

Changes

Things are changing in our group. I'm usually classified as the leader of the bunch of us.

Jack, while still in desperate need of us as a group, and will never completely be free of his neurosis, is half way done all his schooling, and well on his way to having a medical practice and a life with Lola. He's got Cody and Oliver and I, but we're each changing. Its not like before where we need each other as heavily.

Cody is running a successful business, mopping the ground with his competitors. He's paid his debts to me, has one sister in University and another heading towards middle school. He's got the lovely Sketch and can easily handle himself, and is always the first one there for Jack.

Oliver is heading places too. While he lives back in the cottage with me doing his course papers, he's becoming a firefighter. He's pining right now, after Allie. He loves her so much. But she has a wondering nature. I don't know what to do about it.

As for myself. I've always had my 'business' and my network. But things are different. Alexander is thinking of joining the monkhood again in Thailand. This means that I have to look into taking care of not only my son full time but Alex's daughter as well. Ash is to young to go somewhere like that and we're still not quite sure what she's capable of, not only that but she and Eli are like brother and sister.

I don't know what to do. I feel like its good that everyone is doing their own thing, yet I worry that I won't be able to handle these things. I feel like change is coming or needed. Something big for me.

Sluggish.-- Jack

Sluggish. And I'm not usually that way. School is going good, it just feels like there's no time for myself anymore. I'm pulled in every direction and the rare moments I get alone are often forcibly done, what with my fits.

I like going through to be a shrink. I like watching and listening and learning how an individual's mind functions.

Its 6:30 am and I'm watching the Empire strikes back. For the first time.

Not bad so far. I've only seen the first one in snippits. Hopefully this will get me out of the fix.

How Sketch and I Hooked Up -- By Cody Sulman

How did I get this sexy lady?

Well I'm going to tell you, because its a damn good story.

Sketch was one of the early girls to come on the scene. Around the same time as Lola and Alice 1. She kept mostly to herself. We knew a few things about her, firstly that she was homeless. Yes. Homeless friend. Brandon offered her one of the houses or apartments but she would have none of it. The Second thing we knew about her is that she had one hell of a set of pipes. No one in the group sings as well as Sketch. So she drifted in and out of the group, but mostly for the first while it was out. Later on, when Lola vanished, Jack met this girl name Senica. That was the time we learned that Sketch was bisexual. She and Senica hit it off for a while and they were homeless together.

A year or so ago, Brandon was obligated, as were the rest of the Four, to go to some sort of wedding for what I learned to be a Siren. Yes. Like ye old ones from Greek Lit. One of them was marrying. Brandon said that I had to come and that I needed a date or the Sirens would melt my brain. Cute no?

Because Brandon had snapped up the Artist all ready, and the last girl I dated with killed by her evil twin, so I went hunting down the grungy streets of Ottawa, only to have Sketch storm out of an ally way in a huff. She and Senica had been on the rocks and she'd just dumped her ass for the second time. So when I brought the proposal to Sketch she was elated to be able to rub it in the 'bitches face'. I thought at the time she was talking about Senica.

We had to go shopping, because Sketch was dressed homeless, but all her begging had earned her a fair deal in the bank. Yeah. She was one of those bums. In any case, she got this foxy red dress and I in my tie. We arrived just in time to check in and showed up to the church.

Turns out Sketch is a sister to the Sirens. Less known, and having given up MOST of her Powers she'd fled the messed up island to live in the big city of Ottawa.

So. She and I got really drunk. I was feeling lonely, because the others got their ladies, and Sketch was pissed at her sisters, Senica and also lonely. One thing led to another and we ended up in my hotel room together. I lost count of how many times we ended up together.

Morning, less sexy. Panicked that she had no where to go and Senica would go after me (vengeance runs in her family). Senica is a smart lady, and while powerful, she wouldn't fuck around with Jack, Brandon Oliver or I. So best thing was to have her stay at my place. Since I shared my old place with Jack, and two younger sisters, aaaand since we'd slept together it was only logical she stay in my bed.

It kinda grew from there.

Its really handy actually. And while that's a weird way do describe a relationship, it saves explaining the kinks in our group. Also I love her. That works.

Anyway. Off to hang. Bye.

Cody

Gone Away - Oliver McMaster

How do I make it?

Allie's given me her New Years resolution. I forget how much of a free spirit she is. It was three in the morning, her sunny legs wrapped around me in the sheets. The house was warm enough to warrant only sheets.

I understand Allie. She knows I understand her. The wandering nature is in both of us. But she's gone through a lot this year. Despite the psychotic nature of her family, she was finally forced to fight them, letting go of their tie to her. Family was given up. She has her surrogate family, but it is always hard to give up the first family.

So my question is, how do I make it, until my school work is done and I can join her in Frankfurt.

She's left before. Nearly three years ago, when Jack's girl Lola 'died' Allie ran away. I understand why. We were her family, and little pieces had been breaking off. So she ran away. It took Cody's sisters being kidnapped and Brandon going slightly mad to figure get her back.

I miss her.