Only Surprises

Huh. I didn't expect the reaction I got from Cody. Jack had another biggy. Just when we thought he was doing better, he just snapped, pressed up in the corner. S. wasn't there to help, he wouldn't speak to Brandon or I. Two hours of this went by, when we heard Cody's voice in the kitchen. He swore in Italian.

He had his headphones on, back from a run it seemed and was raiding the fridge. I heard him say clearly, "Half the suff is take out. Jesus, what have you guys been doing?"

He walked into Jack's room saying just that. There's Brandon and I sitting on the bed and the floor trying to coax Jack from his shaking and settle down.

At the sight of Cody, Jack froze for only a moment before he started hyperventilating, burying his head in his arms as he just broke further apart.

I told him what had been going on, but he didn't seem to be listening. Instead, he crouched down across from his friend, pulling he headphones from his ears and just watched for a few moments.

I was not exactly expecting this reaction from him. When Jenny and Rosie get hurt or something, he blows his top. Hell hath no fury and things like that. But this was so different. I thought he'd be mad at me or Brandon for not telling him, or worse still, mad at Jack for being so far gone. I've seen him get short with him before.

Instead, he put a hand on his arm. Jack lifted his head sharply and they just stared at each other. Starred and starred and starred. It took me a bit to notice but Jack's breathing settled and some of the blood returned to his face.

"When you're ready," He said to Jack finally. "You come and ask me for help. I will drop everything and come, its no trouble. I won't yell, I won't tell you you're wrong. I know what's wrong right now, I know you know too. I'm here for you. I am always here for you, okay man?"

And like that he got up and went to the kitchen. "I'll refill your groceries if you want!"
Brandon stayed with Jack and I ran into the kitchen to catch him. "What was that? How did you do that?"
He smiled, sniffed the juice and threw it out. "I lived with Jack with four years. He's had little versions of these all the time. How many days has he been like this?"
"A few weeks."

His eye brows raised slightly and he checked his Ipod. "He'll handle himself. It takes a lot of work for him to get out of bed in the morning. A lot. When he moved out of the house, he was the best. When he lived with me, there were days where he set his alarm early, just to give himself the time, to work up the nerve to get up. He'll be better now I think. Something about his trust. In any case, he'll call now. And I think he'll get better."
Cody looked me over and then moved the kettle on to the stove. For half a second he vanished, coming back with a box of milk. "I smelled your stuff. It was expired. Tea?"

"Shouldn't you have water?"

"I have water," He smiled. "I could use a tea."

Cody sat down. As tea was being prepared Brandon came out. "He fell asleep. How did you do that? We've been trying for days."

"He trusts you both..." He eyed us both with an odd sort of wisdom neither were used to. "He forgets what its like to mistrust, then he remembers. He pushes the worries aside until they build up and explode. They were little with me. But he doesn't have me around, so he holds them back, he doesn't want to bother you with them. You've got big worries too."

Cody had tea and left shortly after. Jack's still sleeping, catching up I think. I'll probably see him in the morning.

An interesting perspective on Jack and Cody.


Oliver McMaster