Only Surprises

Huh. I didn't expect the reaction I got from Cody. Jack had another biggy. Just when we thought he was doing better, he just snapped, pressed up in the corner. S. wasn't there to help, he wouldn't speak to Brandon or I. Two hours of this went by, when we heard Cody's voice in the kitchen. He swore in Italian.

He had his headphones on, back from a run it seemed and was raiding the fridge. I heard him say clearly, "Half the suff is take out. Jesus, what have you guys been doing?"

He walked into Jack's room saying just that. There's Brandon and I sitting on the bed and the floor trying to coax Jack from his shaking and settle down.

At the sight of Cody, Jack froze for only a moment before he started hyperventilating, burying his head in his arms as he just broke further apart.

I told him what had been going on, but he didn't seem to be listening. Instead, he crouched down across from his friend, pulling he headphones from his ears and just watched for a few moments.

I was not exactly expecting this reaction from him. When Jenny and Rosie get hurt or something, he blows his top. Hell hath no fury and things like that. But this was so different. I thought he'd be mad at me or Brandon for not telling him, or worse still, mad at Jack for being so far gone. I've seen him get short with him before.

Instead, he put a hand on his arm. Jack lifted his head sharply and they just stared at each other. Starred and starred and starred. It took me a bit to notice but Jack's breathing settled and some of the blood returned to his face.

"When you're ready," He said to Jack finally. "You come and ask me for help. I will drop everything and come, its no trouble. I won't yell, I won't tell you you're wrong. I know what's wrong right now, I know you know too. I'm here for you. I am always here for you, okay man?"

And like that he got up and went to the kitchen. "I'll refill your groceries if you want!"
Brandon stayed with Jack and I ran into the kitchen to catch him. "What was that? How did you do that?"
He smiled, sniffed the juice and threw it out. "I lived with Jack with four years. He's had little versions of these all the time. How many days has he been like this?"
"A few weeks."

His eye brows raised slightly and he checked his Ipod. "He'll handle himself. It takes a lot of work for him to get out of bed in the morning. A lot. When he moved out of the house, he was the best. When he lived with me, there were days where he set his alarm early, just to give himself the time, to work up the nerve to get up. He'll be better now I think. Something about his trust. In any case, he'll call now. And I think he'll get better."
Cody looked me over and then moved the kettle on to the stove. For half a second he vanished, coming back with a box of milk. "I smelled your stuff. It was expired. Tea?"

"Shouldn't you have water?"

"I have water," He smiled. "I could use a tea."

Cody sat down. As tea was being prepared Brandon came out. "He fell asleep. How did you do that? We've been trying for days."

"He trusts you both..." He eyed us both with an odd sort of wisdom neither were used to. "He forgets what its like to mistrust, then he remembers. He pushes the worries aside until they build up and explode. They were little with me. But he doesn't have me around, so he holds them back, he doesn't want to bother you with them. You've got big worries too."

Cody had tea and left shortly after. Jack's still sleeping, catching up I think. I'll probably see him in the morning.

An interesting perspective on Jack and Cody.


Oliver McMaster

Mending, Hopefully

Jack is getting better, I think. His anxiety has dropped of significantly. He slips in five hour intervals. He went with S. to work today. She said he was doing pretty well but would not talk to the costomers and would not take orders from anyone but she.

Jack has always had this distrusting streak, ever since I've known him and its had bad and good days. But he's not been this bad since I've first met him. I know its partially the visions effecting him. But I also know its his previous trauma bothering him as well.

From what Jack has told me, he was raised by evangelicals, or something like them. I've met his parents, he does love them, but the love is strained by their religious devotion. He sister is slightly more believing than he, and she is most loved of them all. They thought from an early age that he was a prophet of the lords and presented him to many small enclosed communities willing to accept, but they soon ostracized the family when he predicted things they couldn't control, or would predict on command or would not tell of visions when he knew they were not to be altered.

The family moved about the states for a time before setting in a city in Canada, there they sought medical help from a private clinic. Jack's never gone into full explination as to what went on there, but I know it was bad. He has odd burn marks on key parts of his bodies, is nervous around needles and loathes wooden blocks.

I know from news reports that he escaped through the ducts and the parents to civil action against him, resulting in an enormous windfall of money. After that Jack started indulging secretly in music. He was adamantly discouraged from pursuing anything music related, his parents going so far as to burn cds and drum sticks on the front lawn. It didn't stop him though. He joined a band and became their drummer. His neurosis allowing him to relax when he drummed and focus on keeping the right time. Eventually he was moved to a horrifically small town, so that he couldn't participate in those things anymore. That's where I met him. He'd run into Cody and I and my brother at a Diner two years prior and they'd managed to find each other and become good friends. I joined their group and I've only seen Jack improve since.

This is the biggest regression yet. I worry it will keep him from getting his Masters or med school things, but he's a smart man, and once we help him through this, then he can go back. He's coming with me on my trip I think. Cody still doesn't know much. He's really busy right now. This could be a big problem.

Oliver

Interesting ---- Brandon

S called me to stay tonight. She's in a bad way too apparently. Oliver said he'd seen her being slightly obsessive compulsive. I'm going to keep an eye on her and the other two. Hopefully I can play the role of leader and keep them all together. It means I need my assistants on hand.

I have two. I have Mark and Mona. There was Crocker before but he returned home, leaving his tiger behind. Mona I found overdosing on heroin in a back street in London. I gave her some rehab, on the condition that she would work for me. I gave her a mansion to work out of and she's turned into the best damn assistant  I've ever had. She nannies, drives, flies, nurse, computes, can take care of her self, book very nearly everything and can throw one hell of a dinner party. She's patient which is what is most important.

Mark is different. I'd no intention to hire him but S mistakenly altered his anatomy into part Cyborg. He's got a horribly dry sense of humor, one year of university under his belt and is very handy. He's patient to though, you wouldn't initially think it. He's the new computer guy and is very helpful.

He and Mona get a mansion to themselves, mostly. Often the four of us and our others drift in and out of the spare rooms. Mainly though, they take care of Zoe.

Zoe is got purple hair, burns in water and is 2000 years old. She's very juvinial and loves nudity, and very obviously can't be wandering about in the public very often. The both of them have done good including socializing her better.

Anyway, Oliver is taking care of Jack. I'm going to hold S.

Keep up - Brandon

I was very surprised by this. I'd suspicions but never the less, the weight of his troubles surprised me.

Oliver called me last evening. Apparently Jack had had a nervous break. A big one. I didn't realize how bad until I came to visit.

Oliver met me at the door. Christ. He was ill looking. Sleep deprived, and disheveled, the place was a mess too.

If Oliver was bad, Jack was worse. He was crouched in the corner by a window, covered by a blanket, eyes wide as he gazed out at the snow falling. Shadows were deep on his face, and despite the blanket and the heat of the apartment. Oliver said on the phone he'd never seen him this bad. I agree.

I never do this to Jack, just because his mind is so busy with Sights, but I tried to read his thoughts. It was deafening and nothing audible or visible. Initially he didn't acknowledge me being there. The eventually he started crying.

We got him up and dressed in two hours. Panic coursed through him the whole way, and then we went shopping for his bag. He was much better in the store, but didn't like the sales clerk touching him, wouldn't look any one but us in the eyes. I traded watching duties with Oliver so he could get a full nights sleep.

Lets see what tomorrow brings.

Swamped

Jack and I visited S again. It helped I think, but they were both in a bad state. Even me. We perked each other a little, and ended up napping in front of the fire. 

I can hear his heart race every time he gets panicked, the breathing picking up into short, useless breaths.

How are we going to make it two months? Both of us have school work to do and Jack gets upset every time I mention extending anything. We're going to the store tomorrow to pick him up a bag like mine, so he can come along. Hopefully all works out. 

We're both going to end up a wreck. I think I might reach out to Brandon soon. I know he's busy getting the adoption ready for Ash and set up to take care of Eli, but I'm so mentally swamped and I don't know who else to go to. 

Shaking -- Oliver

He's still sick. Christ, I've really never seen him this bad.

He tried to go to the clinic yesterday to work. When I sent him out the door, he was looking betterish. There was colour in his face. He was pale yesterday. But he looked well. So I sent him out the door.

I was an hour getting ready with my own stuff; work, shower, study, and clean up. As I'm cleaning the window, I see Jack standing down at the bus stop. I ran down and got him. Turns out he was to scared to get on the bus. Back in the house he was trembling. I tried to ask him if he wanted to talk to Cody or Brandon or Lola but he wanted nothing to do with them.

Today we went to see S. She went for a walk and Jack was close to normal with her. Its like in the old days, when it was just the five of us and the occasional monster. S asked if I was okay too. She's good to pick those things up. It's hard to take care of someone, even Jack, when they're so mentally off.

Plus Allie is gone. I don't know how Jack did it. I mean he was stronger when Lola was gone than he is now.
I don't know.
I think we might both be going over with her. Jack needs to get out in the worst way, and so do I.
We had a nap at her place today, or I did at least. The nights are rough and I'm exhausted.

Besides. - Oliver McMaster

Jack had an anxiety attack last night. A bad one. I'd never seen him this bad in all the time that I've known him. He was pressed into the corner swatting at monsters coming to get him. For a moment I thought it was a violent vision, but no, he was just beside himself.

It took me too long to realize it. Jack perpetually smells of fear, and has a habit of dropping things. So when I heard the cup fall, I just assumed he'd spilled his drink again. The fear came once as a wave. It wasn't until I heard the huffing from his room that I was aware of a problem.Cody said he's had that problem before, where he'd be listening to music and nearly missed Jack's fit.

Walking in his room, I find a grown man jammed in the corners, in his pajamas, hand sliced open. His horrified eyes bore into me. "Fix it!" he hissed over and over. Normally, I would have called Cody, but the sight of the blood and the absolute terror in his eyes pushed the thought aside. I grabbed the towel from the bathroom and held his hands, pulling a shard out. Wrapped, I kept him in place, telling him over and over that everything would be okay. Over and over and over I said it, with every 'Fix it" he demanded of me. His breathing was shaky, and I could hear his heart hammering like a double kick. It took two hours to calm him down, though whether it was from my help, or sheer exhaustion I wasn't sure. He descended into sobs, huge gulping sobs.

The sobs faded. I got him to the bathroom, cleaned his hands, got him his mouth guard and had him drink a glass of water. He flumped into bed, clutching the pillow against him. I asked him if he wanted company for the night. He just nodded, starring off into space.  I fell asleep on the floor beside his bed, but it wasn't consistent  Two hours later he was awake again, almost at the same state as when I found him. Another hour to calm him down. It happened twice more, and so I mentioned the hospital at 3 am.

That was a mistake. It sent him nearly over the edge. I had to hold him down to keep him from crawling out of the window, and we're on the seventh floor. By they time he'd settled again it was eight, the sun was up.

He's sitting across from me, and I've just called the school to tell them he'll be missing it. I'm calling Cody when I'm done this. Jack asked me to stay with him today, so I'm forgoing class. He doesn't even want to touch his drum kit, or talk to Lola. I'm really worried about him.

Jack is a little over half a foot taller than me, long and lanky.

I'd never seen him so utterly overwhelmed by his troubles before.

I will keep you posted.