Its only... 38

It's Only....

Its only a few days. It's only a few weeks. Broken down things do seem so much smaller. Or do they add to the weight of the whole? Is a bird still just a bird when you account for all its feathers, all the strands in its feathers, all its cells? Yes. It doesn't change that its a bird. It can alter the perspective of what makes a bird, but it doesn't change the fact that it still sings and flies.

Let's see if I can break the Five weeks down it to bite sized chunks.

12.5 days worth of freedom for me. 12 phone calls.

That's 5 banking days. 5 busy mornings.

1 inspection. A visit from the boss and maybe focus my mind on work. I drift more when I'm anxious and it's much harder to work and socialize than it usually is. I do socialize, but its strained.

2 new staff.

One excellent gift.

8 days with my mother.

One trip away North.

One trip camping.

4 day trip to see my sister.

1 visit.

1 full celebration.

1 empty celebration.

30 morning cries of the steam train.

38 sleeps.

The day before.

The day after.

The days after.

Its the thought of the day after, and the days after, that keep my head and my heart together. The smiles it will bring. The warmth, truth and freedom. Your little whispers to me, through our fingers. The quick engage and I know for a moment that there's only a hazy world consisting of you and me. That we're touching each other's hearts, trying hold them, keep them safe in warm when bitter winds threaten to chill.

You are my favourite person. You are the one I dream and whisper for in the night. You're the warm wind in my hair. You're sun on my back and the rain on my nose. You're the purple heather, the green grouse, the golden leaves, the red grass. You're the stillness on the water. The sparkle in my eye :)