Trust Me To Say I'm Scared

You think of me with your heart? You said that and therefore there's some truth to it. Let me just run with this for now. Heart is a big thing. I get that, important. And from my understanding, strong. It means there's something big there.

And you think of her with your mind. Of course with your heart as well,because you put everyone there. Is it because she's safer? I feel like I've brought this up before, but I just want to affirm this. 

So, from my understanding, your afraid. Of two things. Firstly your afraid of Trust. You say you have this big secret, and I'm not prying about it, but your afraid it will scare me away, then I'm under the understanding you don't trust that I can handle it because if I don't handle it then I'll leave, and reject you and you are afraid of abandonment. Its not the Secret, its the fear of my leaving your heart and the change.

Its easier with her because its not as deep, its not as strong. Your afraid of hurting her because your afraid of abandonment, and loss in your life. People are important to you.

I want to ask you to trust me, and I want to ask you to believe in me, that I wont hurt you. I wont. I don't run from my problems and I don't abandon people. I'm not asking you to tell me. I'm just asking you to smile, and not be afraid, because fear is the greatest monster we can face.

I can hear and see your smiles when we're around each other. Its such a struggle and I wish it would stop, for you. I wish you courage, because someone before has taken it from you.

I had a dream of you last night. We were part of a military organization and they were trying to keep us apart. We beat them though.

My heart hurts from absences and I miss you. Happy days and I hope to hear from you.