Song Bird

I was happy enough today that I cried. Right when I was feeling at my lowest, a little song bird hummed. Song bird. Don't chase them, feed them, love them. This song bird likes me.

Things are changing. For the good. For the best. Nothing will stop me.

Romantic comedies are a hateful creature to me. I don't like the way they show suffering. It is no great suffering. Perhaps its the reason I like Jane Austen's Persuasion. They sit somewhere between painfully offensive and far more fanciful than even Lord of the Rings. At least in Tolkien the love interests died happily ever after... eventually.

Eventually...

I don't really have much to say here outside of that.

I can't get you out of my head, menace. I want to just come across and kiss you. I want to do nice things to you.

I want to, too, but I want more to wait until its right. You bunhead. 

He has every confidence in me in my up coming work.

Sometimes I just want to run away. - M

Don't run away. Don't go. - B



Thank you for taking care of me. - M

You were stinkin'. Garlic and what ever shite you ate. Made me bock[gag]. And you kept saying sorry. But I wiped your spewy hair and face and carried you to bed. I'll always be there for you. To take care of you. -- B

And we almost kissed again... Yeah. Almost kisses are pretty intense. Its like denying a pair of magnets, this buzzing draw between the two of them. Instead he held me on his couch, close, kissed the top of my head enough times to make my lips jealous of my hair. Enough times to dry away my worries. There's someone who cares in all this. He does. I know he does.

I laughed at some point, and you asked why. It's because you were trying so hard to cheer me up. Every time you do that you make me smile more.

I don't deny its nothing shy of a nightmare. But the whole world stretches before me, and I can see its long and far. Patience has always been my lantern and hope the fire inside. Don't make it to big or it burns through your fuel. Don't set it to low, or it will go out. But hold it high when you want to guide your way through life. Let it be the light that guides your steps. Let it be the smile at the corner of your mouth.

Menace.

New Art

Going

Winter Walk

Hold me Close

Test Subjects

The Shadow Calls

Lead me Back/Come with Me

Hold On

Nanny

Thank you for taking care of me. And inviting me out.

Visitation

My legs hurt. I ran to His place at 5.

There was some comforting. Sleep.

Strong together. So soft and beautifully warm. Cradled and wondrous.

Strength. Warm cuddles that wash the worry away, and help me with my heart. All will be well.

So tired.

Only Tears of Happiness

I was quite surprised that a show such as Downton Abbey would inspire me.

I will be, as Anna and Branson. I can play my part for a time. I will grace my part.

I feel the pieces cracking and I must now take a true step back, and let them fall.

Last night I was saddened, heavy in my chest, because I let my pain into my heart. I felt weak suddenly, and he felt so much stronger. All my walls start falling then, and I just wanted him to hold them up, as I will his.


You are an incredible person. And I'll always be there for you.

I'll always be there for you, too.

Promise, one day, at the end, when this is all resolved, that there will be no more tears.

What about tears of happiness?

Only tears of happiness.

A Little Hug

Moist eyes long for a quiet hug. A stroke of the hair. That's all.

Requited

J's eyes were all over you. -B

I know. He was a bit pissy by the time we left. - M

Poor J... - B

I do feel bad. I mean I know how he feels. - M

Huh? - B

I just understand the way he feels. Of liking someone and -      - M

Its different with you though. Your feelings are reciprocated. - B